I guess at one point or another all of us will be looking for some directions to move forward in our lives. Let it be professionally, with relationships, life aspirations or personal growth, looking for a best or “new” way forward is bound to be experienced.
Finding our way and asking for directions isn’t always easy...Before encephalitis (e) and acquired brain injury I used to navigate my way forward independently with an endless amount of energy and I used to have so much clarity regarding where I wanted to go or what I wanted achieve next. Now, I have to rely on others for so many things. For a long while, I used to think that it was a bad thing, a weakness even. I’m quite a few years on from this life changing event and I’m finally starting to realise that asking for directions can provide me with an insight I wouldn’t have got otherwise.
Life is often messy since e. It often feels as though I’m trying to stack a massive pile of boxes after a bomb exploded in my Weird Wonderful Brain leaving those boxes in pieces and mixing up the precious order that I used to rely on to easily find my way. I can’t always think properly or make sense of things anymore so I have to rely on others to break things down and explain things simply. I don’t have that endless amount of energy so I often need to ask for help to get through a day. I have had to learn to accept having others finish my sentences to help me save some of that previous energy and be appreciative of it instead of feeling embarrassed. The list of how I require some form of support is pretty long and it varies a lot from day to day, that is the new reality.
My new road map has less capacity and I often have to go down very unfamiliar paths, but with good planning, people advices & support and lots of pit stops to maximise how my new brain works, I can still get places and find my way. Finding our way is a process and like most processes, they aren’t so linear. Processes tend to go around in circles...that’s how we improve them and grow from the learnings we picked up along the way. It took a few years, but I have finally come to realise that finding my way is an ongoing work in process...e and ABI entering my life just means many processes are now off the beaten path. You get to discover and grow an understanding of lots of new things when you walk those paths and this has to be a good thing.
To Greg, thank you for your patience, for believing in me, for always supporting me and for allowing me to try things...even when it means pushing the limits of living with a brain injury.