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Stuck in a Dark Moment

Tonight as I lie in bed I am feeling lost.

I am feeling trapped in a world that isn’t mine.

I am feeling trapped in emotions that I don’t recognise.

I am trapped in a place I so desperately want to escape.

I am sad.

I don’t entirely know why, but I am.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks.

I’m not quite sure if letting them go makes things better or worse, but I chose to let them go.

I think of my boys.

I feel guilty for feeling so sad as I love them to pieces.

I tell myself “pull yourself together lady” they need you well or as well as you can be. 

But at this very moment, I need them more than they need me...or so it feels like.

I’ve been down that sad road before,

But I can’t help wondering why has such a bumpy road been laid in front of me.

What is the lesson that I need to take from tonight’s sudden onset of sad emotions?

The only thing that comes to mind is I’ve come out of this dark place before, I can do it again.

This is just a sad moment, just watch it go by...

I tell myself that I am strong.

I remind myself that I am determined to make the best of this sticky situation.

I tell myself that I am courageous.

I remind myself that I can do this.

I am slowly starting to find my way back.

I am slowly starting to see the Wonderful opportunities that this Weird Brain of mine has put on my path.

I am now done feeling sorry for myself and the tears have stopped. 

My emotions aren’t all tangled up in my chest anymore.

I feel reassured.

I’ve come through the other side once more.

I am strong.

I am determined.

I am courageous.

I have done it.

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