Tonight as I lie in bed I am feeling lost.
I am feeling trapped in a world that isn’t mine.
I am feeling trapped in emotions that I don’t recognise.
I am trapped in a place I so desperately want to escape.
I am sad.
I don’t entirely know why, but I am.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks.
I’m not quite sure if letting them go makes things better or worse, but I chose to let them go.
I think of my boys.
I feel guilty for feeling so sad as I love them to pieces.
I tell myself “pull yourself together lady” they need you well or as well as you can be.
But at this very moment, I need them more than they need me...or so it feels like.
I’ve been down that sad road before,
But I can’t help wondering why has such a bumpy road been laid in front of me.
What is the lesson that I need to take from tonight’s sudden onset of sad emotions?
The only thing that comes to mind is I’ve come out of this dark place before, I can do it again.
This is just a sad moment, just watch it go by...
I tell myself that I am strong.
I remind myself that I am determined to make the best of this sticky situation.
I tell myself that I am courageous.
I remind myself that I can do this.
I am slowly starting to find my way back.
I am slowly starting to see the Wonderful opportunities that this Weird Brain of mine has put on my path.
I am now done feeling sorry for myself and the tears have stopped.
My emotions aren’t all tangled up in my chest anymore.
I feel reassured.
I’ve come through the other side once more.
I am strong.
I am determined.
I am courageous.
I have done it.