Since being sick with encephalitis "e" and now living with it’s resulting acquired brain injury a lot of things have changed in our lives. I say our lives because although I’m the one who has been the most affected, my weird wonderful brain has a huge flow on effect on my loved ones. I’ve come to realize that all the little things that we take for granted are often the most precious. It has also sunk in that we actually don’t have all the time in the world to do or achieve all those little things that we dream of. That, at the flip of a coin, they can also be taken away from us. I am still young, but going through life with a multitude of limitations made me realize that there is no time like the “now”. So in the best of my capacities, I endeavour to enjoy small things everyday. Of late, I've also found that I do my utter best to try to accomplish some of those bucket items that have been sitting on my list for a little while. For the most part, my bucket list is fairly realistic. It is mainly composed of a multitude of small things; things I haven't experienced yet, things that I'd like to experience through my kids' eyes and about finding ways to enjoy the time I do get to spend with family and friends...ill health or not.
A multitude of things in life are ephemeral so you have to make the most of it while it comes about. Mother nature is the best example of those precious short lived moments: a sunrise, a sunset, lightening, snow flakes falling down from the sky or even the colorful autumn leaves falling off from its branches as a squirrel jumps from tree to tree. Part of those fleeting moments also include a myriad of things that we take for granted: a laugh, dancing silly with the kids, a kiss, a cuddle, drying your little ones tears when they are sad, reading a good book, having a good chat with a friend and of course taking the time to watch mother nature do its things too.
When ill health makes an appearance in your life, you come to realize that ephemeral moments are the best...I often wish this adjective could be used to define my acquired brain injury, but it isn't the case unfortunately.
That's also why I decided to keep items that are sitting on my bucket list at the forefront of my mind lately. Part of it comes from the fact that I too often find myself living life expecting for the next heartache to be just around the corner or for my ill health to deteriorate some more and further rob things from me. I am scared, or the right word is probably more terrified here, that if I leave some things for too long that the option will be taken away from me the same way "e" has shaken our reality, hopes and dreams. In a twisted way, bringing those bucket list items to the forefront keeps me focused on the beautiful, the positive and motivates me greatly to keep forging ahead with what I've got. My bucket list acts as a reminder of the cool adventures yet to be experienced and shared, of the laughter yet to be had whilst ticking an item off the list or of all the precious smiles yet to be sighted from realizing a dream...no matter how small that dream might be.
At the time being that bucket list is safely hidden in a part of my weird wonderful brain which I hope I won't forget, but I've been thinking of doing some sort of project with it. I'd like to come up with a way of capturing those ephemeral moments in all their beauty, making sure my kids understand that realizing the smallest dreams can leave the most precious and long lasting memories...watch this space!
Family and friends, don't be surprised if you get pulled into a weird wonderful adventure in the coming years. Just know that you might be part of a much greater scheme...a scheme that keeps me going on a daily basis and focused on the positive.
P.S.: Manon et Daniel, aujourd'hui ces mots ont été inspirés par votre amité et par la façon dont vous approchez la vie. Merci encore pour vos mots. Until we meet again my dear friends!